6 days down. Whew! After busting my ass Thursday, yesterday was somewhat of a break. Immediately after breakfast I had a stretch class. Then went directly to the Santa Monica Stairs. I was so excited to do the stairs, but didn't realize how freaked out I would be.
I'm only a little afraid of heights, but I don't have a great spatial ability. For instance, when on a trampoline I can't just look at the sky or a field, I Must have a point of reference that's close to me like a fence. So seeing that the stairs go on endlessly made me very nervous.
The good news is I did the stairs. The bad news is I was only able to do them twice. I had a difficult time going down. Going up was slow but very doable. I speed-walked the surrounding neighborhood which was truly gorgeous. The homes overlook a Canyon and even include a view of the Pacific (and start at about $3.5-million). I have an idea to help make the stairs easier and I've discussed it with Jonathan the trainer. We'll see if it works next Friday.
Following the stairs was 1 hour circuits, then lunch. At 1:30 I had 30 minutes of TRX training followed by 90 minutes at the Santa Monica Pool. My day ended with a relaxng massage. I got back to the apartment 1.5 hours earlier than normal so I had some down time to just veg. That felt great.
Today, however, was a very different story. I got to the gym by 9:30 and we headed out to Marina Del Rey Beach for boot camp (very difficult) and a game of flag football (so much fun). After lunch I did the MOST difficult workout I've ever done. 50 minutes in I hit a wall and had a meltdown. I mean a Real meltdown. I ran off to the locker room and was sobbing uncontrollably.
All I could think was "How did I get here?" How did my weight and health get so out of control that I had to sign up for someone to kick my ass almost 40 hours a week? Are bad habits really worth this?
Of course, I could always leave but that's not what I want. I want to change my ways and as I've said before Change is difficult. And it's going to take a long time to get this weight off. So I need this place to help me get my head on straight before I go back home and continue this journey without all my trainers, nutritionist, therapist, etc. here.
As all these thoughts are going through my head my coach Arleigh (the one who's kicking my ass today) comes to check on me. She tells me to get it all out of my system and come back when I'm ready. So after 10 minutes of "letting loose" and philosophizing I got back in the game stronger than before and more determined than ever to finish this job I've come to do.
So I've been good to myself today. I sat in the hottub a bit then took a long relaxing shower, curled up on the sofa wrapped in my blanket and watched Pretty Woman. Tomorrow is only 2 hours at the gym and a bunch of us are going to the movies afterwards...popcorn & soda not allowed!
I will begin posting my meals to give you ideas on http://www.deechangesworkouts.blogspot.com/
4.03.2010
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